Blog 51: What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

Heeeeeere's HAYLEE! Not sure the half-assed Shining reference will translate to some of you right-off-the-bat, but whatevs. Aside from a rumbly in my tumbly, I am currently riding Cloud Nine, as they say. I posted a little over a month ago that I was taking on my first big-time editing project, an entire nonfiction book to be published later this Spring. I did what amounted to a minor ghostwriting job on it and it was my first project of that magnitude (that I was actually hired for--BOOYAH). Well, I finally finished it--around 300 pages of hardcore editing work in a short time period--and I am insanely proud. That said, I am also beyond relieved to be finished. Big projects like that tend to be very time-consuming. I can't tell you how many times I blew off other activities (such as, you know, writing this blog) to work on it. Now I can have my glorious return! And glorious I believe it will be. I've felt so inspired lately. Maybe having to do so much typing and what-not made me realize how often I can and probably should commit my moments to sitting down and churning out pure gold. It really isn't fair to deprive the masses of my delightfully entertaining anecdotes. haha. All right, enough false bravado. On to the topic at hand...

The other day, I was talking to someone about one of my most glaring character flaws: impatience. This person may, in fact, be insane. I say this because my defect was classified as "endearing." haha. I'm annoyed by my own impatience. You might even say that I am impatient with my own impatience. Meta. Observing me at work on any given day, you may see me sneak an eye roll or some gesture that means something to the effect of "Seriously?!"

Oh hi, you dumb skank. I too think it's hilarious that you order a frappuccino every day and still don't know what it's called.

I know that it's absolutely terrible to get so irked by something as simple as a person saying: "caramel coffee" instead of "Caramel Latte." And yes, sometimes when a person says "Cappuccino" and I know they actually mean "one of them french vanilla thangs, like at the Weigel's" (namely, a sugary sweet latte, light on the foam), I make an extra dry cappuccino just to teach a lesson. I had an epiphany of sorts, though. I know it doesn't justify my behavior in the slightest, but most of my irritation comes from the fact that communication, especially verbal, is something so very important to me. When some jackass can't even look at a menu and order a beverage properly (even after being helped or corrected multiple times), I feel like communication is completely being trampled and I think there's a crazy part of me that takes it as a personal insult.

Whether we're willing to admit it or not, part of our self-worth comes from knowing that people care about what we have to say. For me, I also feel somewhat dismissed if a person doesn't even give enough of a crap to make a legitimate attempt to speak to me in a way I can comprehend without jumping through the hoops of prompting, prying, and leading to the point I presume he or she is trying to make. I feel like it's an outward sign of deep-seated apathy. Laid-back, I enjoy. Apathetic? Makes me want to punch you. And it is apathy. It doesn't take a lot of time to think before you speak. It doesn't take too much effort to speak properly. Get it together, people.

It sounds like some sort of self-help seminar when I say this, but a communication breakdown can really destroy the things you build. Spouses cheat on one another because neither one is willing to sit down and discuss the things that have been "making them unhappy for years." Teachers assume their pupils don't care when it might just be that those students are too scared to admit they have trouble with the material. Baristas hate you because you refuse to listen to the answers of the questions you ask and then have to ask the next time you come in...and the next...and the next...and the next...and the next...and SERIOUSLY, I SWEAR I'M SPITTING IN YOUR DRINK THIS TIME, YOU SPACE-CADET-SOCCER-MOM. (Admittedly, I have never spat in a drink before...but DAMNIT have I thought about it).

I refuse to believe that we just aren't thinking, period. So why is it that we can't say what we think? Honesty doesn't have to be the kiss of death. Anything can be couched with kindness. It just takes a bit of effort. On the other hand, if you have something nice to say, why hold those things back? If you dig someone, for goodness sake make it known with your words (unless that person is married or your teacher or like, your best friend's mom...then maybe just keep it to yourself). You like a stranger's haircut? Say something. You could make that person's day. It never fails that on the days I feel most like an ugly duckling, some random person sweetly tells me that I'm gorgeous, have great eyes, etc. It's probably just God being like "Hey, quit being such a little idiot. I freaking made you." (<--He might use different words, though) Anyway, you never know how you can change things. I know countless couples who have broken up really just because one or both people couldn't or wouldn't compliment the other about anything.

Can we all just learn to speak up? Whether it's pride, shame, cowardice, or just simple apathy--STOP IT! You'll gain a lot more than you lose and not have to be controlled by the aforementioned negative qualities.

On a final and somewhat off-topic note, I am also impatient because I highly value efficiency. Why should I have to spend twenty minutes of my day listening to a person say "um" or ramble about something irrelevant? I shouldn't! haha.