Blog 68: A Critique of Watchmen, Years Later

First of all, got a problem with my ideas here, okie doke.  But I wrote this for my own amusement and expressiveness so basically, all I have to say is:

I attempted to watch Watchmen years ago when it first came out; and have been assured by many that it is a great story.  Revolutionary, even.  I watched parts of it back then and wasn't impressed.  That, and a different entertainment-morality system than I currently have kept me from giving it any more attention.  Fast forward to this evening, watching it with my fella.  He has great taste, generally.  Our ideas often coincide about what's good and what's not.  He's got the graphic novel (which I will attempt to read, because I'm not one to judge a story by its movie).  So I gave it another shot tonight, and I found it wanting.  The movie itself has some holes and seemingly random events, but that point isn't where I take issue.  Screenplays are difficult for a complex story.  Sometimes they just can't flow and let things happen in a reasonable amount of time.  I have a different sort of problem with it: its hopelessness.

Striking...and depressing.

I understand the point of Watchmen artistically.  It's themes aren't lost on me and I'm not just looking for a bright and sunny happy ending.  It's the anti-comic.  Its characters are anti-heroes.  They've got hideous habits and personalities that aren't likable.  They do what they do more for self-gratification than anything.  Artistically, sure, that all makes a grand point.  But I'm just not a fan.

The Anti-Comic

I think that the reason so many people like comics, myself included, is that even the darkest and most tragic stories have a flicker of hope--unity of the common people, an ordinary man standing up and sacrificing himself,  the hero or heroine realizing purpose, etc. They show the twisted, nasty face of society as a whole; but then, that one person or those few people serve as a hint that humanity might not be incapable of beauty and goodness.  It has an apathy and bleakness that says we will all destroy ourselves, and no one will stand up to prevent it because we're all terrible.  Watchmen is about a handful of anti-heroes who prove to themselves that the only way to save our simpering, combative race is to make them suffer or make them hate someone.  The unifying factor isn't decency, justice, or courage.  It's fear.  It's a motivational tool, all right, but not one I can get behind.

There's a joke here somewhere...

One of my favorite things about comics is that they include good versus evil.  Sure, it can get cheesy, but that exaggerated style is part of the art.  They make you love the heroes--flaws and all.  Their emotions are alternately crippling and strengthening.  It's not about being cold and calculating and dripping with vanity.  It's not about being stoic and imitating a god.  It's about having some sense of altruism and a moral code.  It's about giving people something to aspire to, not just some facade of empty heroics that fall flat behind the scenes.

The Anti-Hero

Now, I don't hate anti-heroes.  I've had a tendency to believe in the wrong people my whole life.  Sometimes I root for the "bad guy" in a story, believing he will do something worth supporting before the end.  Big fan of redemption here.  I think a big part of Watchmen is that they're just men.  Aside from Mr. Manhattan, who just really needs to learn to wear pants, they don't have special abilities.  Just regular joes, trying to make a difference.  Or just trying to give themselves some glory.  They treat it like some kind of thrill-seeking hobby.  I hate to say it, but it's hard for me to like a character who isn't truly burdened in some way--the power and responsibility creating conflict, etc.  These guys are just like "man, I wish the government hadn't banned us. I feel like wearing latex and punching people today."  I like my heroes--well, heroic.  So sue me.

Killing Rorshack

The one guy in the movie I didn't think was a selfish dick...you killed him.  Mr. Manhattan is all "So what, you stayed by my side? I like young tail. Taking this blue monstrosity to greener pastures."  Silk Spectre is all like "I hit on pretty much every man in the movie."  Night Owl is like "I see that we have become monsters, but I'm just gonna cry a little, sleep with SS, and roll with it."  Ozymandias is like "I had to commit genocide to prevent genocide."  And Rorschach is like "I will solve this mystery and defeat evil and tell the world the truth."  And then they kill him.  He's definitely the most badass, the most interesting, and the one who has some sort of code guiding him.  To be fair, he's unstable, a bit violent.  But hey, that makes him an anti-hero like you wanted, albeit he is much more likable than any of them.

Nooooooooo!

Malin Akerman

JUST NO.

I have just never liked her grating voice or weird-shaped face. Her 'mom' also made a way hotter SS.

Blog 67: 5 Reasons to Love Mr. Darcy

A lot of men probably don't understand what women see in him.  A lot of men react to my Austen addiction like this:

For this reason, I have taken it upon myself to explain.  I think I will always love Pride and Prejudice (the book and the movie).  It's in my blood now.  Not only is Elizabeth Bennett one of my favorite literary heroines with her sassiness, intelligence, and pig-headedness, but she has a worrisome, affectionate mother and a very calm father with a kindred spirit (sorry, Mama, but I can relate--haha).  The hero in the story, however, is what keeps many of us ladies coming back.  It isn't just the romanticism of the time period, the attractive wardrobing, or the beautiful accents (although for some reason, I think a man in boots is a hot man, indeed).  It's the content of his character that is so absolutely bewitching.  So I started thinking:  why is he such a dreamboat?

  

Well, that's a good chunk of it.

1.  LOYALTY:  No matter what damage it does him, he stands by the people he loves.  He urges Bingley away from an "imprudent" situation, knowing it will remove him from the person's society he most craves.  He patiently tolerates the pernicious personality of Caroline Bingley and her behavior devoid of subtlety. Even after Elizabeth humiliates him, assumes the worst of him, accuses him of heinous crimes of decency without knowing any of the facts, and derisively spurns his affections; he still loves her.  He still admires her wit and courage.  He still can be kind to her family, though their impropriety goes against some of his most treasured values.

This has nothing to do with loyalty, but wouldn't it be nice?

2.  HONESTY:  Darcy doesn't mince words.  He is direct even when it is difficult for him.  He tells Elizabeth what he feels, good and bad.  He doesn't have to be pressed and nagged for it.  His word is bond, and there's no reason to doubt him.  It isn't always fun to tell the truth, but Darcy does it with a halting grace.  He fears being false over being the object of anger or offense.  The only time he does "bend the truth," it is absolutely forgivable.  He says that Lizzie plays the piano quite well, though we all know how terrible she is at it.

^How I react to most men.

Even his actions are honest.  This, of course, was a subtle way of saying "I want you to have my babies."

3.  DECISIVENESS:  He is a man of action, not merely of words.  When Lizzie is in trouble, he doesn't wring his hands and fawn over her with useless phrases.  He doesn't apologize for her distress and make empty promises.  He leaves her company almost immediately and sets about finding a solution.  If it weren't for him, the whole family would have been ruined by Lydia's scandalous elopement.  He pays for everything and puts Wickham in his place.  He even acts as a witness at the wedding, which again grates against his own values.  Almost immediately, he brings Bingley back to the country and helps him work up the nerve to propose to Jane.

Ironic, indeed.

4.  MODESTY:  This one is a bit ironic, as Lizzie mistakes his stubborness for pride (although it is a quality she also possesses).  Darcy requires no praise.  He asks Lydia to keep his generous involvement in patching up the wedding with Wickham a secret.  He doesn't ask for thanks or put himself forward to Lizzie's father--even as he asks for her hand.  His actions speak for themselves.  He does what he does out of love and however generous or strong or supportive he is, he doesn't try to recommend himself with it--even when he still believes Elizabeth indifferent to his affections.

5.  MORALITY:  Though Darcy's sense of propriety causes some misunderstandings, it is unyielding.  He does not sacrifice his values for popularity or attractiveness.  He believes in doing things the right way.  He believes in truth, justice, and all of the qualities listed above.  He is upright and content to remain so.  Pardon the vulgarity, but even when Caroline keeps tossing her snatch at him, he remains aloof.  You have to love a man who can say no.  So few do these days.  They blame it on the offer, rather than their own deficiency of character.  Not our Darcy.  No, not him.

Yeah, you bunch of louts.

So, fellas.  If you wish to warrant the name of a gentleman; if you wish to irrevocably capture that ardent love, ask yourself:

Blog 66: I Think I Was Funnier When I Was Bitter

I feel like my latest blogs have all been kind of intense. Maybe not necessarily in a good way. I think when my life sucked more, I may have been more interesting. I mean, looking back, I had some hilarious things to say when I was always pissed off, exhausted, or sad as hell. Am I succumbing to the blandness of the American dream?! I certainly hope not. It's not like I live the American dream in the traditional sense, anyway. I've got problems still. I suspect I'll always have them. Sometimes I have those minor tragedies that the suppressed actress in me turns into a scene. 

Are you going to do this every time we run out of toilet paper? 

It's just in my nature. Other than that, my life is pretty hunky-dory: good job, fantastic family, love of my life, yada yada. What am I supposed to make mean, angry jokes about now? I think I did that mainly as a defense mechanism. I learned long ago (whilst being very chubby) that I couldn't be the hot one. But I COULD be the hilarious one and have boys eating out of my hand that way. Pretty fades but personality entertains forever. Now I'm not even a fatty. I could tone up a bit, but I'm not a big puffy platinum blonde whale. I don't have terrible friends in my life, either. It's like, what do I have to make bitter jokes about anymore? It's not fair that you lose some of your funny edge in happier times. Maybe it was just that extra effort I felt compelled to make because nobody liked me. Now, someone is ridiculous enough to like me and listen to my rants and see me as beautiful at my ugliest moments. And what, I'm supposed to stay at the top of my game?

Well...yes. I want to get back to the top of my game in humor. Just because you're loved doesn't mean you can get lazy. It's just like all those people that get super fat when they're in relationships. Me, I'm the opposite. If I'm in a good relationship, I tend to lose weight. I want to provide the optimum sassiest appearance and give my fella even more bragging rights. It's just how it is. But I need to get that way with humor, too.

Lucille Ball: gorgeous and funny. Aspirations, here.

Anywho, I didn't actually set out with a point in mind for this blog. And yet, I find myself realizing that the point of this is that you shouldn't let yourself grow too complacent. Yes, you're happy. But no, you don't have to stop trying. Making people happy should be a lifelong goal--not at the expense of integrity  or who you are--but just as an extra to all your other wonderful attributes.

Now, completely stepping away from that "point," I think hilarity is the best possible tool against misery. Was I a grumpy face generally? Yes. Was I anything close to Pollyanna? Hell no. But sometimes, when I kept my crazy in check, I made people crack up. And to be truthful, being able to think of myself as a self-deprecating, goofy, weird, bitter comedian made life much better. It kept me sane. Even the Bible says that laughter doeth good like a medicine. Patch Adams would agree.

Just keep laughing. It sounds cheesy and stupid, but it really does help. I'm not going to lie, I actually really enjoy making fun of my own ridiculosity. And other people seem to enjoy it, too. Self-deprecation as a perpetual state of being is no good. But as an occasional remedy for sadness? So good.  Just don't take yourself too seriously. Life is hard. It sucks a lot. But if you keep working hard, things will turn out all right. While you're miserable, enjoy the fun stories. For example, I had so many ridiculous tales of people's stupidity/rudeness in the food industry. I could always make it funny. Now? Well, there's not really anything funny about insurance. I mean, it's a great job that I love. But it's more sad when someone screws up their insurance than funny.

haha, she called it a McNut Frappucino instead of a Coconut Mocha! Nuts. lol lol

^Typical sad, pathetic barista amusement.

They don't have sufficient coverage for this--ha!--sob, sob, sob. I'm so sorry that happened to you!

^Typical financial tragedy.
Yeah, folks. It's a real downer. I can't make lemonade out of THOSE lemons. In conclusion, don't get caught up in cushy things like a slightly-more-in-shape body or a well-paying job. You still have to continuously cultivate your personality. People wonder why relationships fail, why friendships don't last, why popularity is so fading. I'm not saying strive to be popular. I've never been in that category. I'm saying every effort is worth it. You'll make other people and yourself happy if you keep trying your hardest at life. And you'll probably laugh a lot more.

And now, puppies...

Smile!

Blog 65: Intelligence That "Matters"

To some of you, this blog will seem pretentious. To you, I say: get over it. If you read my last blog, you know my stance on why it is good to know and be confident in your strengths. I am not at all the most intelligent person I know. In some ways, I may even be quite stupid. But I have been called wise by some and even "the smart one" in my family. I think intellect has great worth, and I live my life in that belief. I try to expand my knowledge and critical thinking every day. And I frankly want to punch people who spurn intelligence as if it is something to hide or as if it is something a woman should not possess.

Today someone told me that I was smart "in ways that don't matter." I want to know what does matter then. I cannot for the life of me think of one way that this person's intelligence exceeds my own. Nor have I seen the fruit of this supposed knowledge that 'matters.' I haven't seen good things come of it. I have seen the hard lessons I've bowed to change me and make me a better person. I have seen the wisdom and encouragement of my family and friends challenge me in my times of selfishness, stupidity, and yeah--trashiness. I didn't listen at first. But once I realized I DID NOT know everything, I was able to learn a hell of a lot more. I stopped dismissing everyone and actually improved rather than remaining stagnant or even worsening as a person. So, here a few points of intellect that I believe truly matter.

Is it vital to life to have a wide vocabulary? No. But it helps me to more specifically express what I mean. In many cases, my ability with words has given me the chance to persuade people to radically question their views and in some cases, change them. It has helped me to detail my feelings to my loved ones and communicate so that we can better understand and help one another. It has built up my relationships and shut up my competition. And yes, it has also given me the powers of kick-ass paper writing...and though I haven't tapped into it, there's money to be made there. (That's right, show me the money and you've got yourself an 'A' in English class!)

Is it important to know when to shut the hell up and just labor on toward your goals? Why, yes. It certainly is! Not only has it kept me out of a few bar fights (Although many times, my rhetoric and wild eyes also warned off fights--I wouldn't say I've got quite the bark. It's more of a growl that spreads fear of my bite. haha), it has hushed me in times that I could have really hurt someone. I usually have a boundary that ends before cruelty. That's when I stay quiet and scarce. And I think the knowledge of how and when to do so is something everyone should have. It has helped me maintain work. I know a lot of hot-headed idiots who can't hold down a job to save their lives. They've got to demand respect and tell people off. Well let me tell you something. If you have to throw temper tantrums, say harsh words, and start fights to demand that "respect"...you aren't truly respected. In fact, you haven't earned a damn thing except unemployment, burnt bridges, and a collection of broken hearts. I have bitten my lip (though not half as many times as I should have) and simply WORKED MY ASS OFF to get where I am. I didn't storm away from jobs or cuss anyone out because I refuse to be a mooch and a burden because I have cheated myself out of a paycheck. I refuse to rob my future. I refuse to be immature and without forethought. I refuse to act like I'm "too good" to do any job that puts food on the table. Because of that, I had good references for my resume. Then I had an awesome interview and landed a wonderful job. I make bank, I have the respect of my coworkers and managers, I get to help people, and I enjoy what I do.

Here's another thing that I have that MATTERS: the ability not to waste time, money, or brain cells on destructive garbage. I am so damn proud that I don't cloud my lungs or my mind with unnecessary chemicals. I rely on better sources to "enlighten" me and give me joy. I think if you have to depend on some sort of substance (or a constant mix of several) to enjoy your time on this earth, you're an idiot. I see beautiful things every day that move me and provoke thought. And I see them because I have not numbed myself. I have not made myself forgetful or forfeited my ability to give a shit about anything or anyone in pursuit of a high. I could not and I never shall. Apathy is one of the sneakiest, most destructive forces on the planet. And if you don't think so, it may just be destroying a few things in your life right now. I put food on my table. I pay my rent. I take care of important things with my money instead of squandering it on bullshit and then wondering how I'm going to scrounge up some semblance of a meal. I have been the drunken fool. But more often I have been the sober one in the midst of many. Bearing witness to their conversations with a clear mind, I have neither seen nor heard anything profound come out of their mouths. So no, I will not buy into the lie that things like that expand your way of thinking. I've seen it too often and know too much to be tricked.

Yet another valuable point of intellect? Knowing how to choose friends. I don't end up in a lot of trashy situations because I don't put myself in them. I would help friends that are going through tough times, but I wouldn't plunge into a pool of self-serving, classless pretenders and strive to be accepted by them. I want to be better, so I spend my time in better environments.

Lastly, I have the intelligence to treat people with kindness and compassion. I value this ability to be tender-hearted because I know so-called 'smarter' people who have destroyed the happiness and security of a lot of people. They don't care who they crush or how. They push women beyond their sexual comfort zones and make them question their worth. They put their friends and family through countless tragedies without a second thought. They use other people's money and resources without helping or earning a thing. And they wonder why they are unhappy. I can truly say that I am my happiest when I'm with loved ones who I can give to and receive from equally. I am happiest when I help someone else besides myself. I am happiest when I remember to love unconditionally.

Now...what great knowledge can you bestow on me that outweighs all of these things?

Blog 64: To Blog or Not to Blog?

So, I haven't written here in a few weeks. Personal opinion blogs really only fit a niche. Sure, I try to make mine either semi-educational or at least thought-provoking, but not a lot of you care about that stuff. I recently started another blog, The Grownup Gazette, to chronicle recipes and tips for living like--well, like a grownup. It seems to be doing pretty well. I'd love for it to be one of those things where a jillion people on Pinterest are like "OMG, this girl's blogs are like, so awesome," but we shall see. Having a topic of sorts also makes regular writing way easier. Here it's just sort of the center for my soapbox moments. However, I don't want to give up on my Observations. I enjoy it, and I have gotten awesome feedback from a few people. It's hard not to get discouraged when you want a big following, but I don't all together do it for the writing props. Writing keeps me sane and I like to think it can have a positive impact on the world!

The thing that bothers me about this no-category blogging is the stigma attached to it: namely, that many people see it as a certain sort of self-indulgence. What makes me qualified to give advice or spout opinions? What makes me better than anyone else? Well, nothing. The beauty of the blog is that it allows anyone and everyone to put themselves out there. You may think that what I have to say is pretentious and boring. Someone else, however, may see things in a different way and appreciate the challenges therein. Still someone else may just appreciate watching the writing develop (that person may or may not be my mom).

I suppose the conclusion is to blog. Now that we've got that handled, why don't we discuss the "she thinks she's better than us!" issue...

First, OF COURSE I THINK I'M BETTER THAN YOU. haha. That is partly humorous exaggeration and partially truth. The thing is, confidence requires you to sense in yourself some superiority. Don't argue, here. Just think about it. If you didn't think that the way you dress/believe/act was better, you wouldn't do it. In some capacity, we all see ourselves as better than our neighbor. If we didn't, we wouldn't be able to make any decisions regarding our lives. For example, I think a lot of other girls are stupid and just THE WORST, as partially explained in my entry 7 Reasons Why I Hate Women. I think I'm better than women who exhibit such behavior because I fight to do the opposite. I think I'm better than willfully ignorant people because my whole life I have made it a point to gather knowledge, learn, and hone intelligence. What are your values? What do you think makes a good and/or cool person? If you try to possess those qualities, you have some measure of a superiority complex.

Second, don't mistake me--I am not all that I wish I could be. I certainly compare myself to other people (other women especially). "I wish I could have that guy's determination. I wish I could have that lady's class. Shoot, I wish I could have THAT girl's ass." I don't think I'm the cream of the crop in most ways, but in some--sure, I'm choice. I'm a boss.

And you should think about yourself the same way. But remember...

Blog 63: Why Versus Why Not

On my commute home from work today, I was pondering a few things. First and foremost was the notion that I would like to be a softer, kinder, more patient person. Then, I began to think about some of the things that make me upset to the point of losing that precious patience. I've always said I've hated apathy, and today I thought of a distinction people do not make in their daily decision-making. Of course, it doesn't apply across the board. I'm finding that few things do. However, it does seem to often be true in people my age. I suppose I should explain what I'm talking about here, instead of continuously alluding to it.

In my experience, there are two types of people. And they have their weaknesses and strengths...of course, I lean toward one side as the stronger because it's the way I choose to live. When it comes to making choices about how to live, there are people who ask "why?" and there are people who ask "why not?" Such similar phrasing--and yet the difference is monumental.

THE WHY PEOPLE

I am a "why" person, unlike a lot of people in my generation. If someone suggests an activity that I am unfamiliar or uncomfortable with, I ask "why?" For example, if someone says to me: "Let's jump into a frozen lake!" or "Let's eat the atomic hot wings at Quaker Steak and Lube that you have to sign a waiver for!" I am going to ask "why the hell would you do that?" The second example actually happened to me once. I witnessed two people making themselves sick with the overly-spicy food and then everyone else at my table decided to follow suit and give it a try. SHEEPLE! They kept trying to convince me, but as I knew it served no purpose but a simple "I did it," I declined. Call me old fashioned, but I believe that the things a person does should have purpose and design. I don't walk around all serious and Debbie-Downer all the time. I'm no Scrooge, hoarding meaning and sentiment to miserly proportions. However, I know that everything we do has some effect on the world. In the case of eating stupidly hot wings, maybe the effect isn't important or necessary to explore. Some why people take it to the extreme and can't even have a simple good time without asking "what's the point?" I'm not one of those...usually. That's no way to live. However, they consider the consequences of their actions.

THE WHY NOT PEOPLE

These are the people who don't really care for foresight. They live in the here and now. Admittedly, they probably have a good time with it...until it's time to pay the piper. These are the type of people who go to a party, consume every offering (legal, illegal, beneficial, or harmful) without prejudice, and shrug their shoulders at the point of it all. Generally, they don't think there is much of a point to anything. Nihilistic would be a great way to describe them. Any action is something to be apathetic about for "why not" people, because they don't buy into the theory that one thing affects another. It's all separate, spontaneous, feelings-based decision-making. There are a lot of twenty-somethings and teenagers that operate on this sort of thought process because they think that they'll step up to the plate one day--just not now. They don't want responsibility or concern. They just want to do what they want to do.

Honestly, "why not" people break my heart. How can you care so little about your own welfare or the state of the world as to shrug your way into darkness? Believe it or not, your choices do not simply affect you. You may not care if your life is completely screwed up. But your loved ones do. You may not feel the burden, but I assure you, someone somewhere does. Even if you are "alone in this world," going with the flow to a fault makes this world an uglier place. The world needs people who care, people who fight, and people who believe in the pursuit of goodness. It needs hope. So, maybe consider looking at that drug and saying "Why? What purpose does it serve in the grand scheme of things?" and use your "why not?" as a serious inquiry into the ramifications your actions might have. YOU MATTER. YOUR ACTIONS MATTER. PUT YOUR LIFE TO GOOD USE rather than vain pursuits. Love deeply, think passionately, and just fucking TRY for once. You will never regret doing the arguably right thing, but you very well may regret doing that idiotic "fun" thing.