Blog 66: I Think I Was Funnier When I Was Bitter

I feel like my latest blogs have all been kind of intense. Maybe not necessarily in a good way. I think when my life sucked more, I may have been more interesting. I mean, looking back, I had some hilarious things to say when I was always pissed off, exhausted, or sad as hell. Am I succumbing to the blandness of the American dream?! I certainly hope not. It's not like I live the American dream in the traditional sense, anyway. I've got problems still. I suspect I'll always have them. Sometimes I have those minor tragedies that the suppressed actress in me turns into a scene. 

Are you going to do this every time we run out of toilet paper? 

It's just in my nature. Other than that, my life is pretty hunky-dory: good job, fantastic family, love of my life, yada yada. What am I supposed to make mean, angry jokes about now? I think I did that mainly as a defense mechanism. I learned long ago (whilst being very chubby) that I couldn't be the hot one. But I COULD be the hilarious one and have boys eating out of my hand that way. Pretty fades but personality entertains forever. Now I'm not even a fatty. I could tone up a bit, but I'm not a big puffy platinum blonde whale. I don't have terrible friends in my life, either. It's like, what do I have to make bitter jokes about anymore? It's not fair that you lose some of your funny edge in happier times. Maybe it was just that extra effort I felt compelled to make because nobody liked me. Now, someone is ridiculous enough to like me and listen to my rants and see me as beautiful at my ugliest moments. And what, I'm supposed to stay at the top of my game?

Well...yes. I want to get back to the top of my game in humor. Just because you're loved doesn't mean you can get lazy. It's just like all those people that get super fat when they're in relationships. Me, I'm the opposite. If I'm in a good relationship, I tend to lose weight. I want to provide the optimum sassiest appearance and give my fella even more bragging rights. It's just how it is. But I need to get that way with humor, too.

Lucille Ball: gorgeous and funny. Aspirations, here.

Anywho, I didn't actually set out with a point in mind for this blog. And yet, I find myself realizing that the point of this is that you shouldn't let yourself grow too complacent. Yes, you're happy. But no, you don't have to stop trying. Making people happy should be a lifelong goal--not at the expense of integrity  or who you are--but just as an extra to all your other wonderful attributes.

Now, completely stepping away from that "point," I think hilarity is the best possible tool against misery. Was I a grumpy face generally? Yes. Was I anything close to Pollyanna? Hell no. But sometimes, when I kept my crazy in check, I made people crack up. And to be truthful, being able to think of myself as a self-deprecating, goofy, weird, bitter comedian made life much better. It kept me sane. Even the Bible says that laughter doeth good like a medicine. Patch Adams would agree.

Just keep laughing. It sounds cheesy and stupid, but it really does help. I'm not going to lie, I actually really enjoy making fun of my own ridiculosity. And other people seem to enjoy it, too. Self-deprecation as a perpetual state of being is no good. But as an occasional remedy for sadness? So good.  Just don't take yourself too seriously. Life is hard. It sucks a lot. But if you keep working hard, things will turn out all right. While you're miserable, enjoy the fun stories. For example, I had so many ridiculous tales of people's stupidity/rudeness in the food industry. I could always make it funny. Now? Well, there's not really anything funny about insurance. I mean, it's a great job that I love. But it's more sad when someone screws up their insurance than funny.

haha, she called it a McNut Frappucino instead of a Coconut Mocha! Nuts. lol lol

^Typical sad, pathetic barista amusement.

They don't have sufficient coverage for this--ha!--sob, sob, sob. I'm so sorry that happened to you!

^Typical financial tragedy.
Yeah, folks. It's a real downer. I can't make lemonade out of THOSE lemons. In conclusion, don't get caught up in cushy things like a slightly-more-in-shape body or a well-paying job. You still have to continuously cultivate your personality. People wonder why relationships fail, why friendships don't last, why popularity is so fading. I'm not saying strive to be popular. I've never been in that category. I'm saying every effort is worth it. You'll make other people and yourself happy if you keep trying your hardest at life. And you'll probably laugh a lot more.

And now, puppies...

Smile!