Blog 12: 5 Things That Make No Sense

5: People who don't read. Books are so dear to me. When I grow up, I probably won't be a crazy cat lady. I'll be a crazy book lady. I'll live alone in a huge house where full bookshelves occupy all available wall space. Classic literature, modern comedies, first editions, cheap paperbacks--I'll have them all in duplicate and triplicate. And I will love and care for them as if they are my children. Okay. I got carried away. But truly, I cannot for the life of me fathom how one could enjoy being ill-read and uneducated. Such apathy and lack of proper hobbies pretty much breaks my heart.

4: People who buy really expensive decaf coffee drinks. I do drink coffee because I like the flavor, but I also drink it out of necessity, in order to stay alive and maintain my caffeine addiction. If I am super-energized, I don't drink caffeinated drinks. Then there are the weirdos who come in for their daily dose of decaf. Firstly, decaf does not taste half as good. Secondly, most of said weirdos get skinny drinks (that is, nonfat milk/sugar free syrup). So they're not getting it for the caffeine and they're not getting it for the taste. Why are they spending five bucks again?

3: People who are rude to those who make their food/beverages. This I don't understand because frankly, it's a dangerous game they're playing. I have never personally spat in anyone's food, nor have I dropped snot in someone's egg drop soup (mostly because I have never worked at an Asian establishment), but I've heard enough horror stories to know that I am gonna be sweet as pie to the people who hold the integrity of my refreshments in their gloved hands. Not to mention, they're nearly always polite to you, so it only makes sense to return the favor. There are so many people I refuse to go to a sit-down restaurant with because they can't act graciously and frequently ignore the server. I have a vivid memory of our mission trip group going out to eat together once. We prayed over our food, of course, and I'm sure the workers noticed. We were a big group. Then, one girl proceeded to loudly and sarcastically complain. "I like how they haven't brought me another Coke yet!" To which I replied: "I like how we pray over our food and then act like jerks to the people waiting on us." She shut up. And then, one of the older ladies high-fived me. Bamm-o. (sorry I keep stealing your word, Whitteny- it's just so awesome)

2: The song "Natural Woman," which I believe is performed by Whitney Houston. Hearing it is what made me want to type this list. I've always wondered why one would sing "You make me feel like a natural woman." Was she not always a woman? Has she had multiple plastic surgeries and other enhancements? Or maybe, just maybe she is in fact NOT a woman, but a very cleverly-concealed transvestite. Hmm?? Yeah, I agree with what you're thinking. I've put way too much time into speculating on this matter.

And the number one thing that is beyond explication and nonsensical beyond repair is...

1: The popularity of Jersey Shore. Enough said.

Blog 11: Validity of a Valentine

Valentine’s Day seems to be the bane of many people’s existences. This (rather clichéd) sentiment is one I have never understood. I tend to love any holiday, really. Any chance to escape the normal routine, any excuse to cook something even slightly extravagant or dress a little differently than usual is worthy of being embraced, in my opinion. It’s a chance to have some fun. And yet, just as there are the Scrooges who hate Christmas, there are the whiners who abhor Valentine’s Day. People who complain about February’s most flamboyant holiday tend to fall into one of two camps: the Cynics and the Sad Saps. I’ll explore the latter category first, because I think they’re the ones who frustrate me most.

The Sad Saps are the ones who usually call it “Single Awareness Day.” Generally, these are the people who haven’t learned to be happy with themselves.  They think that Valentine’s Day just exacerbates their misery. I just don’t sympathize with the Saps. I’ve been single for every Valentine’s Day in the twenty years that I’ve been alive, save one. Honestly, the one when I was in a relationship was probably one of the worst I’ve ever had. Blech. I won’t elaborate. In any case, it’s not like I’ve got a heart of stone. I’ve been wistful about not being wooed on those occasions. I mean, not this year—but I’m just saying, it has happened. It is, however, completely preposterous to choose angst and melancholy when you are free to decide to be happy. The problem, in that case, is not with the holiday itself. The true issue lies within you.

While it’s true that being part of a couple can be fun and/or fulfilling (sometimes), it is very important that we learn to be contented regardless. Know who you are and love it. Don’t wallow in your circumstances, but rejoice in them. God-ordained relationships are beautiful things. And if you aren’t half of a duo, chances are you aren’t meant to be. Take it from one experienced in idiocy, the romances that don’t arise as a matter of destiny are not pleasant affairs. Love the time that you have as a single young adult. The world is your oyster! I’m so tired of people thinking their lives can’t begin until they’ve got someone to latch onto—literally half the people I know fall into that category. If you’re not being faithful with your own gifts and talents or being proactive and taking the reins of your own life, then you may never be entrusted with a mate. You haven’t proven yourself. So stop whining, suck it up, and act like an adult for once in your life.

There are so many advantages to riding solo on that special day. First off, you have to admit it’s a hell of a lot cheaper. You know what else? You have the freedom to do whatever you want to do! This year, for example, I came up with an idea that was (if I may say) ingenious. The Sassy Single Ladies Club’s first annual Valentine’s dinner was a great success. When you make a date with other people you love, it makes it good. We could have gone to a movie or eaten somewhere fancy or done nothing at all. There was glorious freedom in it. Okay, enough about that—now for the second camp.

The Cynics also drive me a little crazy because often they just come off as pretentious humbuggers. Even if Valentine’s Day was invented by card companies and florists, it can be extremely fun. There’s nothing wrong with being cutesy every once in awhile. Enthusiasm is a lot more attractive than apathy. Only the emo teeny boppers think you’re cool when you’re being unsociable and taciturn. I just tend to think that people who are forcibly nonchalant are more insecure than anything else. It exudes desperation—that deplorable desperation to be admired is more than a little irksome.

Just use the day as one to remind you to be loving. Clearly when you’re such a grump about it, you may need a little reminder more than you think. You don’t have to buy anything. You don’t have to wear pink and red and use heart-shaped doilies. But you also don’t have to go knocking Sweethearts candies out of people’s hands and generally ruining everyone else’s good time. So there’s that.

All right, I could go on about this for days (as I really could most subjects), but I’m going to shut up and go show some love to my two best friends who have been waiting for me, because Valentine’s Day is not the singular occasion to be caring and kind. ;)

Blog 10: Ignoring Ahab

"The Jezebel spirit seeks to hide itself, seduce, intimidate, manipulate, murder and trade in human souls." (http://www.christian-faith.com/forjesus/jezebel-spirit)


"It is what I have many times referred to as "a spirit of witchcraft." That's what a controlling spirit is, that tries to control others, whether man or woman." (http://www.hissheep.org/deliverance/breaking_free_from_a_controlling_spirit.html)

"Satan’s Jezebel spirit is an unrepentant rebel, a haughty enemy of God, His prophets and His people. Jezebel is arrogant, pride-filled, self-righteous - a seductive, self-proclaimed “goddess” and prophetess." (http://www.sweety.com/Jezebel.pdf)

"The Jezebel Spirit" is a term many churchgoers throw around, usually to describe women they disapprove of (although this particular complex is one that can affect both sexes quite equally). I'm not interested in blasting church ladies whose clothing-to-makeup-ratio is...shall we say...slightly backwards. I'm similarly not going to blame the world's problems on the militant feminists who constantly undermine the roles of all authority figures and men around them. What few people really address, especially when teaching from 1 Kings, is Ahab's complete failure to do anything while his wife flushed their reign down the toilet. While it's true that Jezebel called for the death of the prophets, hated Elijah, and was generally abominable, why doesn't anyone really discuss Ahab's failings in detail?

He saw the destruction his wife caused. He was her king and her husband and yet bowed to her every whim. In his apathy, he shirked every manly responsibility. Ahab allowed himself to be controlled, seduced, and manipulated by the woman at his side. Colton was telling me that in the Men's Fraternity (a study for the guys at our church), they discussed the original sin. Adam's sin wasn't so much in eating of the fruit of the tree. It rested mainly in shirking his responsibilities as a man. He was given charge over Eve, to protect and guide her. And he sat back and let her be deceived. Furthermore, he did not own up to the mistake.

The other night, I was telling a friend why I'm weary of dating and he inadvertently inspired this blog. Among the many reasons, it's that I'm sick of leading the way. The responsibility of planning every date, fixing every problem, and directing the relationship should not fall to me. Adults should not have to spoon-feed one another. And yet I have constantly found the case to be that the guy would sit back until it got to the point that I had to take the reins. It's like living with roommates. You all let the kitchen sink stay full and smelly for a few days, hoping the others will take care of it, but then one of you breaks down and cleans it all. If the pattern continues, the one who does the dishes will become resentful. Same goes with relationships. Anywho, sorry--soapbox. My friend actually told me (funny story) that someone said another girl and I had the Jezebel spirit, but he suggested they only thought that because we are tired of (excuse the phrase) pansy-ass boys who refuse to take charge. That's when we started discussing Adam's failure, which then lead into talking about how Ahab didn't try and reclaim his own rule.

It is really easy for a girl who is neither delicate nor docile to be mistaken for a Jezebel. But let's think about this--Deborah was a great judge over Israel who made huge decisions for the nation and lead the way. Strong, intellectual, and/or assertive qualities in women are often unappealing to many guys that have come out of this generation, because if we're being honest, we've churned out a lot of Ahabs. However, just as a Jezebel spirit doesn't strictly dwell in women, the Ahab complex isn't something that only affects mama's boys and lazy video game enthusiasts. It's something that can fall on either sex and is potentially more hazardous (I think), if not more annoying.

The problem with the Ahab complex is that it causes us to just sit around and complain about how things are rather than take steps to change it. We allow the manipulators and upstagers to control the situation until we're all stuck in the ugly aftermath. Whether it's a legalistic attitude clouding the spiritual climate, sexual deviance, witchcraft, or just a chick having to wear the pants in a relationship, we're all helping the Jezebel spirit by staying with Ahab's lazy, wimpy method.

To make it brief, the moral of the story is: Man up. Especially you, men. 

Blog 9: Growing Pains

Just to be clear, I'm not writing a blog about a 90s TV show--although, admittedly, who wasn't intrigued by the Siebers? Good times. No, what I'm talking about is the tension between what I need to do and what I have always done. For the first time in my life, I can truly say that I am more interested in working hard and building things from the ground up than having any semblance of romance in my life. In a few short weeks I have gone from excitedly surveying the prospects and possibilities to feeling nearly indifferent to the idea. I don't care about my image or appeal, but rather the concrete accomplishments I acquire through undivided focus. This is the time to develop who we are and thus shape who we will become.


I've always dreamt big, but there have been constant obstacles to prevent investing in my future full time with good old-fashioned hard work. Some of them were beyond my control, but the most enormous hindrance to success, I must admit, has been myself. I always get caught up in grey-area distractions, excuses, and a crippling fear of commitment. I think it's something a lot of people do. We want to be excellent, but we rarely strive for excellence itself. We're too busy harping on things that absolutely do not matter: gossip, hormones, excessive social activities. We tell ourselves it is unfair that our dreams have not been realized when we really haven't done any work to reach our goals. 


My goal right now is to find another job. I want to work two full-time positions now that I'm out of school. I spent the summer wallowing in self-employment, doing odd jobs, accruing debts left and right--and now it's time to rectify it. This means saying no to a lot of things. No, I can't go on my dream mission trip to Ireland. No, I can't buy new clothes just because I'm sick of my old ones. No, I can't eat out/go to the movies/go cruising whenever the urge strikes. It also means that I am overcome with the desire to work hard at every opportunity. 


If I get that other job, I will probably end up having very little free time and even less me-time than I'm used to. But I'll also become a good steward of all I've been entrusted with financially, spiritually, physically--idleness will remove itself from my vocabulary. I'll also have full insurance, the chance of tuition reimbursement when I return to school, and (if I get the position I'm trying for) a new phone, free cell service, and other cool perks. I'll be able to afford the internet so I can actually post blogs without having to drive somewhere and even fix poor old Maurice, the Honda Accord which receives my love and loathing interchangeably. 


I think that we're so busy trying to skate our way through life with as little effort as possible that we settle for way less than we were meant to do. There's probably some guy out there who has the potential to cure cancer, but dropped out of college to play Call of Duty in his parents' basement. There's quite possibly a dormant diplomat in a young lady who's too busy giving googly eyes to Mr. Right Now to gain knowledge and experiences that could transform her into a history maker, a bringer of peace. Honestly, what do we DO with our free time that's truly worthwhile? From what I've observed, very little! Videogames? Facebooking constantly? Drooling in front of a TV screen? Come on, people. Let's make something of this generation. Let's focus on developing our gifts and talents to make a better world. Let's concentrate on being the best possible version of ourselves rather than skimming through life like all those depressing literary works you were supposed to read in high school. Life isn't like a textbook. You don't get the answers by glancing at the parts you might need to know for the test.


There is just so much that we can do if we become passionate and determined rather than apathetic and indolent. Are we heroes? Are we villains? Are we major roles? Or are we playing extras and scenery in our own lives? Time to grow up and invest in the future. It stretches us. It hurts a little. But it is so worth it.

Blog 8: The Best Things in Life are Free

They say that necessity is the mother of invention, and I have never found that to be truer than it is as it applies to the kitchen. The past year I have been...well, to be honest, dirt poor. It's hard to find a job while you're in school and not exactly a picnic once you graduate, either. So I've had to learn how to combine the scant resources I had and make something useful. An example would be the perfectly delectable potato soup I made last night. We need to get groceries. I couldn't figure out what to eat. So I peeled and cut up some potatoes and boiled them. Then I added chicken broth, a box of macaroni and cheese (the cheese sauce added a nice flavor), salt, pepper, paprika, a bit of cayenne, and chives. But it still wasn't quite hearty. So I added some milk, cheese, and instant mashed potato mix. It really just takes a bit of inventiveness to make a good dish. You don't need recipes. I have to say, I'm extremely proud of my creation, which I am calling Mashed Potato Macaroni Soup. haha.

Other things I've done around the apartment were thrifty as well. I didn't have money to spend on decor, so I became a bit of a scavenger. The majority of our furnishings came from my room because I took anything people would offer. Among other things I had an old, ugly couch from my grandfather's house, my aunt's old entertainment center (which looks pretty but is kind of falling apart), a 1940s Lane Chest my mom and I bought for a very cheap price at an estate sale (which we now use as a coffee table), and a tall black table with two chairs (on which the plastic covering was ripped, exposing the foam cushions underneath). It sounds redneck and awful, right? Well, it only took a bit of work to turn it into something awesome. Years ago (before our sewing machines broke), Em and I were taking sewing classes. A fabric store in Oak Ridge was going out of business, and we bought three huge bolts of vintage fabric. The stuff never got used. When we moved out, however, I reupholstered that ugly couch with just the fabric, a staple gun, and some hot glue. Now it's a bright, warm yellow with colorful flowers on it. So are the chairs that had the ripping cushions. Then I took the remaining fabric and made some curtains. Couldn't afford a curtain rod, so I just nailed them to the wall after folding them at the top to give them a more stylized look.

This part is something terribly creative, I think, but Emily and Elise mocked me incessantly. I had these two long, black hippie skirts that I never ever wore, so I cut them up for curtains. Then, I took the red pillow shams that came with my comforter (which my pitiful skinny pillows looked pathetic in) and made valances. The resulting look was pretty neat. And I cleared some space in my closet and put the decorative pillows in my regular pillowcases so that each one had two pillows and became comfier and cushier. And I have a china cabinet that looks fairly fancy...but I got all my china from Goodwill's half-off day. Oh! We also had this dinette set that my parents bought years ago at an estate sale. We never fixed it up like we intended. I covered the filthy pea-green cushions with one of the other bolts of fabric that had just been sitting in storage, so now our dining room is super sa-weet.

Everything from magazine collages to old picture frames to mason jars can make cool decorations. Our huge entertainment center is covered in old cameras found or bought at thrift stores and jars/bottles/vases that wouldn't have been used. It looks pretty B.A. Yes, Black Angus...Not really.

All right, I'm done tooting my own horn about how fantastically inventive I can be on a small budget. haha. I'm just trying to make the point that you can do whatever it is that you want to do--with or without a lot of money. Be glad for what you have. And waste not, want not. If somebody offers you furniture, even if it's ugly, you can make something beautiful out of it. My aunt recently gave me a somewhat hideous rocking chair...I am going to make it lovely. Scavenge away, my friends. It's fun once you get used to it. I haven't quite fell into dumpster diving yet--although my mom and I picked up some cool wooden chairs from next to an apartment complex's dumpster once. We're so glamourous. But hey, free stuff is free stuff.

One thing you can always count on as an excellent resource is your own creativity. If you can look past the surface of junk and see a masterpiece waiting to happen, you can shake up your world--and I don't just mean aesthetically. The skills and dedication scavenging and reusing things are the same it takes to form good relationships. Sometimes at first glance, people seem completely unappealing. Their exterior reveals the peeling paint, rust, and scars from the difficulties they have experienced during their lives. But underneath all that is something beautiful waiting to be drawn out. Before you can see it, you've got to be willing to pour out a bit of yourself into them.