5: People who don't read. Books are so dear to me. When I grow up, I probably won't be a crazy cat lady. I'll be a crazy book lady. I'll live alone in a huge house where full bookshelves occupy all available wall space. Classic literature, modern comedies, first editions, cheap paperbacks--I'll have them all in duplicate and triplicate. And I will love and care for them as if they are my children. Okay. I got carried away. But truly, I cannot for the life of me fathom how one could enjoy being ill-read and uneducated. Such apathy and lack of proper hobbies pretty much breaks my heart.
4: People who buy really expensive decaf coffee drinks. I do drink coffee because I like the flavor, but I also drink it out of necessity, in order to stay alive and maintain my caffeine addiction. If I am super-energized, I don't drink caffeinated drinks. Then there are the weirdos who come in for their daily dose of decaf. Firstly, decaf does not taste half as good. Secondly, most of said weirdos get skinny drinks (that is, nonfat milk/sugar free syrup). So they're not getting it for the caffeine and they're not getting it for the taste. Why are they spending five bucks again?
3: People who are rude to those who make their food/beverages. This I don't understand because frankly, it's a dangerous game they're playing. I have never personally spat in anyone's food, nor have I dropped snot in someone's egg drop soup (mostly because I have never worked at an Asian establishment), but I've heard enough horror stories to know that I am gonna be sweet as pie to the people who hold the integrity of my refreshments in their gloved hands. Not to mention, they're nearly always polite to you, so it only makes sense to return the favor. There are so many people I refuse to go to a sit-down restaurant with because they can't act graciously and frequently ignore the server. I have a vivid memory of our mission trip group going out to eat together once. We prayed over our food, of course, and I'm sure the workers noticed. We were a big group. Then, one girl proceeded to loudly and sarcastically complain. "I like how they haven't brought me another Coke yet!" To which I replied: "I like how we pray over our food and then act like jerks to the people waiting on us." She shut up. And then, one of the older ladies high-fived me. Bamm-o. (sorry I keep stealing your word, Whitteny- it's just so awesome)
2: The song "Natural Woman," which I believe is performed by Whitney Houston. Hearing it is what made me want to type this list. I've always wondered why one would sing "You make me feel like a natural woman." Was she not always a woman? Has she had multiple plastic surgeries and other enhancements? Or maybe, just maybe she is in fact NOT a woman, but a very cleverly-concealed transvestite. Hmm?? Yeah, I agree with what you're thinking. I've put way too much time into speculating on this matter.
And the number one thing that is beyond explication and nonsensical beyond repair is...
1: The popularity of Jersey Shore. Enough said.
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