Blog 68: A Critique of Watchmen, Years Later

First of all, got a problem with my ideas here, okie doke.  But I wrote this for my own amusement and expressiveness so basically, all I have to say is:

I attempted to watch Watchmen years ago when it first came out; and have been assured by many that it is a great story.  Revolutionary, even.  I watched parts of it back then and wasn't impressed.  That, and a different entertainment-morality system than I currently have kept me from giving it any more attention.  Fast forward to this evening, watching it with my fella.  He has great taste, generally.  Our ideas often coincide about what's good and what's not.  He's got the graphic novel (which I will attempt to read, because I'm not one to judge a story by its movie).  So I gave it another shot tonight, and I found it wanting.  The movie itself has some holes and seemingly random events, but that point isn't where I take issue.  Screenplays are difficult for a complex story.  Sometimes they just can't flow and let things happen in a reasonable amount of time.  I have a different sort of problem with it: its hopelessness.

Striking...and depressing.

I understand the point of Watchmen artistically.  It's themes aren't lost on me and I'm not just looking for a bright and sunny happy ending.  It's the anti-comic.  Its characters are anti-heroes.  They've got hideous habits and personalities that aren't likable.  They do what they do more for self-gratification than anything.  Artistically, sure, that all makes a grand point.  But I'm just not a fan.

The Anti-Comic

I think that the reason so many people like comics, myself included, is that even the darkest and most tragic stories have a flicker of hope--unity of the common people, an ordinary man standing up and sacrificing himself,  the hero or heroine realizing purpose, etc. They show the twisted, nasty face of society as a whole; but then, that one person or those few people serve as a hint that humanity might not be incapable of beauty and goodness.  It has an apathy and bleakness that says we will all destroy ourselves, and no one will stand up to prevent it because we're all terrible.  Watchmen is about a handful of anti-heroes who prove to themselves that the only way to save our simpering, combative race is to make them suffer or make them hate someone.  The unifying factor isn't decency, justice, or courage.  It's fear.  It's a motivational tool, all right, but not one I can get behind.

There's a joke here somewhere...

One of my favorite things about comics is that they include good versus evil.  Sure, it can get cheesy, but that exaggerated style is part of the art.  They make you love the heroes--flaws and all.  Their emotions are alternately crippling and strengthening.  It's not about being cold and calculating and dripping with vanity.  It's not about being stoic and imitating a god.  It's about having some sense of altruism and a moral code.  It's about giving people something to aspire to, not just some facade of empty heroics that fall flat behind the scenes.

The Anti-Hero

Now, I don't hate anti-heroes.  I've had a tendency to believe in the wrong people my whole life.  Sometimes I root for the "bad guy" in a story, believing he will do something worth supporting before the end.  Big fan of redemption here.  I think a big part of Watchmen is that they're just men.  Aside from Mr. Manhattan, who just really needs to learn to wear pants, they don't have special abilities.  Just regular joes, trying to make a difference.  Or just trying to give themselves some glory.  They treat it like some kind of thrill-seeking hobby.  I hate to say it, but it's hard for me to like a character who isn't truly burdened in some way--the power and responsibility creating conflict, etc.  These guys are just like "man, I wish the government hadn't banned us. I feel like wearing latex and punching people today."  I like my heroes--well, heroic.  So sue me.

Killing Rorshack

The one guy in the movie I didn't think was a selfish dick...you killed him.  Mr. Manhattan is all "So what, you stayed by my side? I like young tail. Taking this blue monstrosity to greener pastures."  Silk Spectre is all like "I hit on pretty much every man in the movie."  Night Owl is like "I see that we have become monsters, but I'm just gonna cry a little, sleep with SS, and roll with it."  Ozymandias is like "I had to commit genocide to prevent genocide."  And Rorschach is like "I will solve this mystery and defeat evil and tell the world the truth."  And then they kill him.  He's definitely the most badass, the most interesting, and the one who has some sort of code guiding him.  To be fair, he's unstable, a bit violent.  But hey, that makes him an anti-hero like you wanted, albeit he is much more likable than any of them.

Nooooooooo!

Malin Akerman

JUST NO.

I have just never liked her grating voice or weird-shaped face. Her 'mom' also made a way hotter SS.

Blog 67: 5 Reasons to Love Mr. Darcy

A lot of men probably don't understand what women see in him.  A lot of men react to my Austen addiction like this:

For this reason, I have taken it upon myself to explain.  I think I will always love Pride and Prejudice (the book and the movie).  It's in my blood now.  Not only is Elizabeth Bennett one of my favorite literary heroines with her sassiness, intelligence, and pig-headedness, but she has a worrisome, affectionate mother and a very calm father with a kindred spirit (sorry, Mama, but I can relate--haha).  The hero in the story, however, is what keeps many of us ladies coming back.  It isn't just the romanticism of the time period, the attractive wardrobing, or the beautiful accents (although for some reason, I think a man in boots is a hot man, indeed).  It's the content of his character that is so absolutely bewitching.  So I started thinking:  why is he such a dreamboat?

  

Well, that's a good chunk of it.

1.  LOYALTY:  No matter what damage it does him, he stands by the people he loves.  He urges Bingley away from an "imprudent" situation, knowing it will remove him from the person's society he most craves.  He patiently tolerates the pernicious personality of Caroline Bingley and her behavior devoid of subtlety. Even after Elizabeth humiliates him, assumes the worst of him, accuses him of heinous crimes of decency without knowing any of the facts, and derisively spurns his affections; he still loves her.  He still admires her wit and courage.  He still can be kind to her family, though their impropriety goes against some of his most treasured values.

This has nothing to do with loyalty, but wouldn't it be nice?

2.  HONESTY:  Darcy doesn't mince words.  He is direct even when it is difficult for him.  He tells Elizabeth what he feels, good and bad.  He doesn't have to be pressed and nagged for it.  His word is bond, and there's no reason to doubt him.  It isn't always fun to tell the truth, but Darcy does it with a halting grace.  He fears being false over being the object of anger or offense.  The only time he does "bend the truth," it is absolutely forgivable.  He says that Lizzie plays the piano quite well, though we all know how terrible she is at it.

^How I react to most men.

Even his actions are honest.  This, of course, was a subtle way of saying "I want you to have my babies."

3.  DECISIVENESS:  He is a man of action, not merely of words.  When Lizzie is in trouble, he doesn't wring his hands and fawn over her with useless phrases.  He doesn't apologize for her distress and make empty promises.  He leaves her company almost immediately and sets about finding a solution.  If it weren't for him, the whole family would have been ruined by Lydia's scandalous elopement.  He pays for everything and puts Wickham in his place.  He even acts as a witness at the wedding, which again grates against his own values.  Almost immediately, he brings Bingley back to the country and helps him work up the nerve to propose to Jane.

Ironic, indeed.

4.  MODESTY:  This one is a bit ironic, as Lizzie mistakes his stubborness for pride (although it is a quality she also possesses).  Darcy requires no praise.  He asks Lydia to keep his generous involvement in patching up the wedding with Wickham a secret.  He doesn't ask for thanks or put himself forward to Lizzie's father--even as he asks for her hand.  His actions speak for themselves.  He does what he does out of love and however generous or strong or supportive he is, he doesn't try to recommend himself with it--even when he still believes Elizabeth indifferent to his affections.

5.  MORALITY:  Though Darcy's sense of propriety causes some misunderstandings, it is unyielding.  He does not sacrifice his values for popularity or attractiveness.  He believes in doing things the right way.  He believes in truth, justice, and all of the qualities listed above.  He is upright and content to remain so.  Pardon the vulgarity, but even when Caroline keeps tossing her snatch at him, he remains aloof.  You have to love a man who can say no.  So few do these days.  They blame it on the offer, rather than their own deficiency of character.  Not our Darcy.  No, not him.

Yeah, you bunch of louts.

So, fellas.  If you wish to warrant the name of a gentleman; if you wish to irrevocably capture that ardent love, ask yourself: