**Soo…this will be interesting. A friend of mine suggested that I put my blog on Tumblr. In an effort to generate more hits (as this blog is to look good on my journalistic resume, folks) and possibly get some readers outside my circle of family/friends, I’m going to begin posting to both sites. I know I currently have around 40 readers. I don’t know who most of you are because for some reason you refuse to click “Follow” at the top of the page…but if you have seen the error of your ways and would like to actually help me out in a tangible way that is actually way more awesome than you just listening to my rants…you can totally, finally click that “Follow” button at www.hayleeturner.blogspot.com AND on www.observationsofanacorn.tumblr.com. That would basically make my life. Or my career. You never know. You could change my life with one click, people. What’s a girl gotta do to get a little support around here?!**
Now, what to discuss in my first dual posting? It seems only right, as I am currently watching Pride and Prejudice (which, strangely enough, ties with The Boondock Saints for my favorite film), that I speak about a subject which is often in my thoughts: Mr. Collins. Since I’m sure some of you aren’t as familiar with or extremely fond of Jane Austen’s work as I am, allow me to explain. Mr. Collins is one of the most ridiculous characters I know of in literature.
He enters in as the future heir to the Bennett family’s estate (Elizabeth Bennett, the heroine, being one of many sisters all unable to obtain the property). He decides that he will choose a wife from amongst the Miss Bennetts, and precedes to choose the one he deems the prettiest (Jane). The mother hints that Jane is “very soon to be engaged,” so he settles on poor Elizabeth, claiming love. His convoluted compliments, elevated airs, and weird admiration of his wealthy patroness make him little more than a laughing-stock.
I think the reason that most people loathe Mr. Collins so thoroughly is his depth of insincerity. He speaks of love when a marriage is really all he cares about. He knows nothing about Lizzie excepting she is attractive and available. His next action is to be embarrassingly possessive at a ball (despite Lizzie’s best attempts to avoid him), and soon after, to propose. Without giving her a chance to answer (assuming it will be a yes), he begins to plan both of their futures aloud and explain why she must see that they should be together. When Lizzie politely declines, he pushes on, assuming she must be practicing ‘fashionable ladylike delicacy’ of some sort. When she again objects, he turns to spite, saying in essence that she must be joking because she can’t be sure another offer of marriage will ever be made to her. In this, he basically tries to coerce the union upon her. Thankfully, our heroine shuts him down completely (like a BOSS).
I suppose that was sort of a long summary of his character. My point in saying all that is to address an all-too-common scenario in which one person persuades him or herself to be in love when the root desires are far less noble—lust, longing for a relationship, societal pressures—and then said person tries to impose a union upon the object of the infatuation. It has happened to me a few times and I’ve got a couple of friends who have been trapped in such a situation as well. Let me tell you, it isn’t fun. The unjust possessiveness Mr. Collins (as I call all such people) exhibits is particularly repulsive and annoying. And yet I have a pity for Mr. Collins, because I feel like no one has given him (or her) this piece of advice: if you’re truly meant to be with a person, they will know it as well as you. If they’ve shut you down repeatedly, it is not to increase your love by way of suspense. It is because they probably really, really want you to go away.
Resorting to spite won’t help your case, nor will citing some grand plan or providence. It will only make you look like a jealous idiot. :) Mr. Collins, for goodness sake, look around you. When one person that you’ve fancied yourself in love with clearly doesn’t feel the same way, there may be your perfect companion just waiting in the wings for you to take your head out of your own ass and notice her. And Ms. Collins, if “God told you you’re going to marry Mr. So and So,” then why didn’t He tell Mr. So and So that he should stop finding you so completely irksome? Pursuing this end does you no good. In the meantime, you could be missing out on your REAL destiny. The general moral of the story is, stop obsessing about the center of your failures, and seek out new opportunities and adventures. (But don’t be like the real Mr. Collins and propose to someone else the next day. It’s bad form and frankly, terribly creepy).
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