Blog 53: Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoes

Every time I start a blog entry lately, it seems necessary to include an apology. There are huge gaps between entries. In my defense, my laptop was stolen a while ago. It is unfortunate, indeed. Yes, I find myself constantly reminded of how I'm a poor kid these days. But I've always been one. Consequently, I am a cheapskate about most things. I've had a broken dryer and no air conditioning in my car for a long time. Until recently, I literally only owned one bath towel (I splurged and bought two--haha). I scavenge my kitchen cabinets to the barest point before grocery shopping (which makes for some "creative" cooking, let me tell you). I don't bother with even basic cable TV. There are precious few things I care to spend money on, few luxuries I deem necessary to daily life. That said, every once in awhile, I let myself splurge. In my case, splurging usually just means buying clothes or household items at bargain shopping centers--things that I sort of need in the first place. After a bit of an icky day, I had one such mini shopping spree.

I don't watch a lot of famous preachers, pastors, or ministers. My parents always have, but I am not usually intrigued by their words. One person that I do respect and enjoy listening to, however, is Joyce Meyer. She's a very sassy lady. She's firm, funny, and frank--just the qualities I wish Christian women would emulate. Unfortunately, that is rarely the case. But I digress. Anywho, the point is, she preached a series of messages for women that really changed my way of thinking. It discussed the importance of rest and self-care. A lot of women tend to be very other-people-focused to a fault. They devote all their time and energy to taking care of people and things, and reserve very little effort for self-care. The title of one of Joyce's messages was "Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoes."

Sometimes you need to slow down and let yourself enjoy something: a pricey cup of coffee, a caloric treat, a pair of not-so-sensible shoes. This philosophy, of course, demands moderation. If you pamper yourself constantly, you're a spoiled, epicurean princess. And you're gross! haha. But every once in a while--maybe biweekly or once a month, you have to make a little room for yourself, make allowances. Thursday was that sort of day for me. I headed to the Dollar Tree first. What's not to love about a store where literally everything costs one dollar?

The key, for me at least, is to buy things for utility as well as amusement--things that bring you residual joy. I like to buy things that will not only please me, but please the people around me. Fake plants, a cheese grater, hair clips, and plastic organizing bins were my items of choice. With these few inconsequential things, I spruced up my kitchen, organized our cleaning/pet supplies, and worked on a new hairstyle. Oh, I also indulged in one of my guilty pleasures: a bottle of Diet Coke, to cure the muggy afternoon doldrums. After that, I moved on to Ross--one of my favorite stores for content and price. It's a cheapskate's paradise. A glove for removing pet hair from furniture, sunny yellow oven mitts, bathroom decorations (cushy bath mat, soap dish&dispenser, colored glass lantern, a candle).

I had felt stuck, lost in endless brainstorming on how to grow up, get a better job, stop being broke, and make a difference in people's lives with my work. The weird thing is, just buying those few very cheap things (I spent less than $40 that day) really helped those feelings of frustration. I came home and set up the kitchen so it's more aesthetically pleasing and we can actually use our table--both bonuses for when company comes. I finally decorated our bathroom, which had been bare for months and was reminiscent of the depressing, college guy apathy decorating style. haha. I cleaned and organized and got to think creatively. I solved small problems such as how to arrange the furniture in a way that functioned. It was like I was taking tiny steps toward becoming the sophisticated adult I hope to be one day. It was fun and productive.

A funny thing happened while I was on my way home from buying these things. I briefly lamented the state of my finances. In the middle of these thoughts, a song began to play. It was poignantly funny. You see, my boyfriend is a music encyclopedia. And most of the rock n' roll greats are his heroes. I've always listened to every type of music and enjoyed classic rock. But I find myself listening to it more and more. The song that came on when I switched on the radio volume was "You Can't Always Get What You Want" by the Stones. I hadn't really paid attention to the lyrics before. "You can't always get what you want, you can't always get what you want, you can't always get what you want--but if you try sometimes, you just might find YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED." I laughed so hard. I am a firm believer that God can speak through any medium--even that sinner's music (for you old conservative farts out there). At that moment, He was saying: "You have all the things you truly need. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and enjoy your blessings." And I did.