Blog 55: The Airport Test

I'm just going to dive right into this one. I think an all-encompassing challenge in adult life is finding a healthy balance of give and take. If you err too much on one side, you'll suffer. I've see-sawed between both ends of the spectrum. My family could tell you I can be quite selfish. Lately, I find myself more on the giving side. And you know, it becomes exhausting. It becomes discouraging. There will always be people in our lives who need that giving part of us. They're takers and they may always be. They still need to be shown through sacrifice what love really means, however. The problem is, just as you have to find an equilibrium in your selfish and selfless habits, you have to balance out the number of givers and takers in your life. If you surround yourself only with people who need you and not friends who replenish you, there will be nothing left to give at some point.

You also have to learn that some people will change when you treat them right. They'll "see the light," as it were. I find myself awed by how so few people know what it's like to be really loved and cared for. We're living in a world full of self-centered bastards, to put it bluntly. So many people I know are amazed at the smallest gestures of kindness. I mean, trust me, I'm no Mother Teresa. But I like to do things for people when I can--especially the people I hold dear. I can't tell you how many of my friends have been "in love" with someone who wouldn't even do them the simplest favors if begged. Why does this happen? Some people have been hurt, surely. But if you harden yourself to the point that another human being's needs don't even matter to you, you've become just as bad as the person who hurt you. You're just making excuses and lending to a sick cycle. You're weak. It's easy to fight and cuss and put people in their place. It's much harder to give of yourself even when you're getting nothing back. That quality is what makes you strong. Okay, rambling.

Anywho, how can you tell which people are worth working with and which are only going to vampirically suck you dry of all love and generosity? Well, this one is tried and true, but also hard to do unless you're a jetsetter. I've only flown twice in my life. I've known three different people who found out that their significant others were not "the one" this way. It's the airport test. If your boyfriend/girlfriend/regular friend will not take you to or pick you up from the airport; or if they leave you high and dry when they're supposed to be doing so, they're not worth your time. Each one of those people who was minorly betrayed in an airport found the relationships crumbling within three months.

In regular life, I say give people time. If, after a few months of you striving to be the best friend you can be, they remain the same, they're takers. And you shouldn't just shun anyone, but you should realize that they're not the sort of people who deserve all of your time and energy and you should create some distance. Love changes people for the better. If someone doesn't change for the better, they may not be the right subject.

I'm in the process of finding out if some people in my life will prove to be takers. I hope not. I'd do anything for them. In the end, maybe I'll have to schedule a flight to find out for sure. haha.I mean, what the hell. I could use a vacation.