Long time no blog. I've moved into girl world and it's populated with couple activities, painted fingernails, and a lot more thought about sophisticated couture. I disgust myself a little...yet also love it. So there's my necessary excuse for being absent. Now, to the meat of the blog...
The older I get, the more I realize how important it is to possess the ability to be serious and introspective. I feel like my late teenage years up until just a few months ago were populated with constant ups and downs of trying to ignore my problems. I think a lot of us do that--us meaning people in our twenties. We pull a Scarlett O' Hara and say "I'll think about that tomorrow." When does tomorrow come, though? Yes, we're young. Yes, we've got plenty of time to get our shit together. But how long do you want to wait? I'd like my life to have substance now.
I'm all for having a good time. Anybody who knows me could tell you that much. What I don't want, however, is for my whole life to be an endless pursuit of noise and hype. I can't imagine spending another few months waking up every morning thinking of how empty and pointless my activities have been. If your whole life is a party, what are you accomplishing? Sometimes, you just have to get serious. You have to freaking think about things, even if it isn't fun. Like, hmm...if I make out with this guy he might think I like him. If I don't like him, I probably shouldn't lead him on. Or hmm...if I'm a whiny jerkface at work, it might be a little difficult for me to move up. Or hey, if I'm sleeping around, I could not only get knocked up or diseased, but I could end up with some serious emotional issues and a horrible reputation. I know all the "cool" kids can weasel their way out of considering those things with a simple exclamation of "YOLO!" but that's because they're shallow dumbasses. So there's that. On that subject, you do only live once. So your idea of living life to the fullest probably shouldn't be slobbering all over strangers and getting so drunk all the time that you barely remember what you did the day before.
Furthermore, if I hear one more guy say "nice guys finish last," I'm going to start cracking some skulls. Every time I've heard that phrase lately it's been some guy thinking with the wrong part of his anatomy. Just some advice I've been doling out: if you meet a girl in a club or some other late-night hangout who is constantly surrounded by other guys and is known by all the bartenders/bouncers...she is not going to be the love of your life. She may be pretty, she may be fun, and you can probably get in her pants--but don't go all soap opera dramatic or be surprised when she belatedly tells you she "isn't looking for anything serious." Don't get attached. She's not necessarily a bad person, but she's clearly working out her issues on the dance floor. And it could take years before she's healed up enough to think unselfishly and really know how to love anyone. When she gets there, you likely won't see her partying 24/7. Moral of the story? Don't think you're going to get a happy and full relationship out of a shady and empty environment. I like dancing and drinking on occasion, but clubs certainly aren't a breeding ground for personal fulfillment or achievement. So stop being a dumbass and whining about all the bad relationships you've had lately. You're inviting that dysfunction into your life, broseph. In many cases you're going out and trying to romance the emotional equivalent of a browbeaten prostitute. Not pretty. Not pretty at all.
Basically the point is, you can let the good times roll--but you should also know how to get serious and get work done. Maybe I would rather be living a life of leisure, but you know, right now what I have is a job at Starbucks. And I find at the end of the day I can feel fulfilled if I work hard and try and do things for other people more than I do them for myself. That said, I've been doing so much for other people lately that I'm 99% I won't have the money to do anything for my birthday. And I don't really have high hopes about pleasant surprises. haha. So you have to find a balance. Some things for you, some things for others. Some things for work, some things for play. Some things for idleness, some things for productivity. Being excellent requires balance. I'm not there yet. Maybe someday.
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