So this is may be a little insane; some foolish people who can’t read others well would even say it’s just a phase. I think I’ve decided what I want to do in school and in life. This career choice is one I’ve rebelled against—nay, ABHORRED for my entire adult life (yeah, all two and a half years of it). It sounds superbly cheesy, but about two weeks ago something happened which seems too convenient to be coincidental.
I do not have cable. I do not have money to rent movies. But a couple of weeks ago, I got horribly sick for about 24 hours. All I could do was hang out by a trash can. I won’t go into detail. Haha. In any case, It just so happened that I got sick in a place where I could watch as much TV as I wanted. Flipping through the channels, looking for something not full of douchebags, I came upon a movie I’d heard about but not yet seen: Freedom Writers. I don’t know if you’ve seen it or not; honestly, I can’t remember who it was that first recommended it to me. It’s a true story about a first-time teacher who takes a job in an inner city high school. She’s got her work cut out for her teaching a remedial English class. The kids hate each other, all being from rival gangs. And the head of the department leaves all the books in storage because she thinks the kids will damage them. The teacher gives them all journals (which ended up published) and inspires the students to move above the hate and become friends. She ended up teaching them (by request) throughout high school. She took extra jobs to be able to take them on field trips. She was passionate.
The day I watched that movie, I cried. My family can tell you that’s no huge occurrence. I cry in a lot of movies. I cried in Monsters, Inc. for goodness sake. But it truly touched me. I started thinking: “I want to be a teacher so I can make a difference like that!” Then I told myself it was silly. But as anyone who has ever spoken with me about education can tell you, I get all riled up when I talk about teachers. In my opinion, too many people become teachers just because they don’t know what else to do. They’re like “Well, I can’t go around the world in 80 days, so I might as well teach.” It’s like people who say “ I can’t go to college, so I’ll join the military,” except these decisions make or break tons of lives instead of just one. Consequently, they pass on their unforgivable apathy.
I can think of three teachers in my whole life of public schooling that were truly inspiring. I hate science. I’m not good at it. But my Biology professor for two semesters at Pellissippi made me like Biology because she was excited about it, and gave us random facts outside the curriculum. My U.S. History teacher in high school made me love the subject when I had previously thought that America had the most boring heritage of any country. My Creative Writing/American Literature/Screenwriting teacher made me think I could be the author of the next great American novel. Why? Because they were so passionate about everything they taught. They were amazing. But the sad thing is, in 15 years of schooling, there were only 3 who truly stood out. Where are the caring, charismatic educators of today? Are they only in the cinema?
So after dismissing my movie mania, it had been a little while. The other night when I was having coffee with friends, we began to discuss teaching. The conversation was brief, but I got so excited during that time. It was like something inside me was on fire. It was like God smacked me in the head and said "Yeah, what do you think about teaching now?" The more I think about becoming a teacher, the more I think it’s a wonderful idea. I want to make a difference. I want to help others become passionate about things worthwhile rather than the fading temptations of our day. What better way to do so than become an educator? I want to teach middle school or high school students; they’re on the cusp of adulthood but faltering in so many ways, generally. If I had had more adults who had genuinely cared about my welfare during those hard years, I think I might’ve been less screwed up. Haha. And the sad thing is, I didn’t get involved in half the stuff my friends did, but it still felt as damaging.
I get more and more stoked every time I consider the possibilities. Not only could I change the world one kid at a time, I could have so many opportunities myself. I want to travel. Teachers have the entire summer off every year. And if I study language like I already want to do, I can teach language in other countries. And there’d be so much time for writing as well. I’ve known several English teachers who were simultaneous authors, becoming at the very least somewhat successful in their writing efforts.
I’ve had vague notions of things I’ve wanted to do, but this feels so right. And there seems to be an open path. Scholarships for teachers are absolutely abounding these days. And apparently, there’s tons of student loan forgiveness just for agreeing to teach in Tennessee for a certain amount of time. For once I feel like the things I want to do aren’t completely impossible. It’s a glorious emotion.
But first, alas, I must find that mind-numbing high schooler type job that will get me through the oh-so-educational college years. Fun times.
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