Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up and feel like everything is just grand? You just start giggling uncontrollably when you wake up because you had the best dreams and your day seems full of potential, then you do a little squeal of unadulterated joy and say to yourself "Haylee, you are so ridiculous. Now I'm more ridiculous because I'm talking to myself. I really need to get a life." And then you laugh some more, good-naturedly. Well. Maybe you don't do that, but I do. Actually, if you do that, you're kind of creepy. Stop pretending to be me!
I had a day like this not long ago. I got out of bed and just felt so full of energy. That almost never happens. I excitedly got all snazzed-up, dancing to my rock n' roll while I got ready. Sidenote, I gave up rap and hip hop for Lent. Yes, I really like rap and hip hop. No, I don't know why. Yes, I am slightly ashamed to publicly admit it. But it has turned out to be a blessing in disguise, not listening to it for awhile. I realized that I had been blowing off all the music that makes me feel like one of the cool kids in the movies with a leather jacket and aviators and a motorcycle. You know, those guys. Except I wouldn't smoke like they always seem to do. Are you following me or am I going off on too many rabbit trails?
Anywho, it may just be a girl thing but sometimes I have days where I look in the mirror and feel chagrin. I feel like I need to just give up on life and buy a moo-moo and ten cats. But on a day like the one I'm describing, I look in the mirror, wolf-whistle, and say to myself "I think you've lost weight, foxy lady," and wink and do that little hand-gun motion that people are always doing when they're cheesy. Then I walk out the door and the sun is shining. Everything seems exciting, everything makes me laugh. It seems like all the people I pass are thinking one of two things about me, one being "I'm jealous of that movie-star-quality miss," or two being "I want to ask her on a date." Given, they are in all likelihood not thinking that at all, but I like to imagine I'm the leading lady on days like that, and the leading lady always inspires such emotions. On days like that, any music that is playing seems to be a theme to what I'm doing. I can be strutting through the store or sitting at a red light and all signs still point to me being one awesome B.A. because of the rhythm hand-selected for me and me alone. It makes me feel like a one-girl revolution. haha.
A day like that is just pure heaven, and that makes any interruption of the bliss so seemingly unforgivable it is preposterous. I'm no Mr. Darcy, meaning that "my good opinion, once lost, is lost forever" is not a phrase I would use. But if you throw off my groove on one of those days by generally being a butthole, I am really not going to like you for a few days, at least. If the pattern continues, I may give up on befriending you entirely. I actually start out a lot of days like I just described, thinking the best of everything, feeling every moment is full of potential, being brave and putting myself out there. I love starting out that way, and I hate that people have the wickedly vicious venom that can snipe out such a day in one half-hearted motion. We shouldn't have that much power over one another, but realistically, we do. Experiencing this startling revelation has made me so much more conscious of how I behave toward other people.
Even in just the past two weeks I've felt my very reactions to others transforming completely. People who I would've honestly borderline ignored before have become worthy conversationalists in my estimation. When someone approaches you enthusiastic and friendly, you should respond in kind. Maybe they're having one of those glorious days that feel like they began with the rolling out of a red carpet in their honor, and who are you to ruin that with your anti-social tendencies? I mean, you don't have to be obsequious about it, falsely flattering to gain some sort of advantage with the person, and you don't have to be fake. But you do have to treat the other as a human being. Sometimes all it takes to transform an annoying person is some genuine consideration for him or her.
I hate how we constantly justify our actions by our feelings. I'm so bad about it, although thankfully I've improved a bit. Yeah, I jumped down her throat, but I was tired. Sure, I kind of ignored him, but I was having a bad day. It's just not a viable defense for such behavior. With one fell swoop, you can turn "the world is laughing with me today" into "it's me vs. the world today." I'd much rather let the person who feels like leading lady/lad lift me up with them than grumble them down to my embittered state.
It's a shame to go from feeling everyone rooting for you to questioning if any good intentions exist anywhere. It's happened to me a few times. I'm not really the girl who all the guys fall all over and all the girls want to be. Never have been. And some people in my life have solidified that truth in my mind with their lack of interest when I try to engage with them. Maybe the person trying to talk to you isn't that cute girl you like or that guy who makes you laugh; maybe he or she is just a big dork, but you should make them feel like they are that cool character in your story, worth your time. You never know what will come of it.
My best friend in the whole world is Whitteny. When we became friends, we each kind of thought the other was super weird. Yet she offered me rides home from school and I invested in her, and then we found our friend-soulmates out of it. If nothing else, you might get some really good conversations. I've had some of the most thought-provoking, engaging dialogues with guys and girls who I originally found distasteful. Just get outside your box, people. And don't be such an elitist with who you offer your kindnesses to, because one day it's going to bite you in the butt. Someone will ruin your rock star day by pointing out what a d-bag you are, and it will be an uncomfortable epiphany at best.
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