Most of the time when I set out to write a blog, it's about something I have figured out. According to some people, that even comes off as a bit pretentious. I guess I see the point there. Today I just want to write about some things I HAVEN'T figure out and maybe never will. Just so you know, there are a LOT of things that fall under that category. haha.
Number one thing I haven't figured out is eschatology and people's preoccupation with it. End-times theology is an interesting topic--that is until people start touting their knowledge about it like their word is gospel truth. Here's the fact, my friends. "No one knows the hour, no one knows the day" of the Second Coming. And we can speculate as much as we want, but we don't know exactly how things will go down, either. Desiring knowledge and doing research are both laudable things, but when you begin to believe you have all the answers by doing so, you are in error. Some truths are indisputable and very black and white, but there are some issues that will we not understand completely in this life. I just don't get why people are always running around yelling "End times! End times! Get your life right!" (imagine that phrase in a redneck accent). Whether Jesus is coming back now or a hundred years from now, shouldn't we already be living with a kingdom mindset? Shouldn't we be putting forth effort for righteousness regardless of the state of world affairs? I think so. If that is the case, then I don't really need to know when Jesus is returning, just that I am to be His unsullied bride.
Another thing I can't quite understand is human reluctancy to become close to others. As much as it pains me to admit it sometimes, we need each other to survive and maintain any sense of our humanity. So why do we practically isolate ourselves from one another? I think the main reason is fear. Everyone's afraid of getting hurt. I just think that's no way to live your life. You won't experience anything good if you live only trying to escape pain or danger.
I had so many other things I wanted to talk about with this, but I don't think it's going to happen. I've got quite possibly the worst illness I've ever had. I don't know what it is, neither does the doctor. Maybe it's just a coincidental malady at a time when I was depriving myself of rest. I don't know. Either way, it's retardedly awful and I look like hell. So does the apartment without me to clean it. My throat is visibly swollen (externally I mean). It kind of looks like the mumps. But it's not. I find I don't like rest. I don't like being taken care of, and I don't like not being able to do anything. And yeah, yeah, no one likes a complainer. But I kind of don't care right now. I don't like posturing to be a people-pleaser and would much rather communicate what I feel. Truth is, I can love people and still not give a damn what they think about me. I just want to lay aside every concern about looking good in front of everyone, because I simply do not have the energy for that today. Today I question people's concern for anyone but themselves beyond the obligatory/shallow kind, or maybe even the kind that behooves them personally. The past couple of weeks I have both objectively and subjectively viewed some of the worst apathy about the problems of others. A couple of situations were regarding myself, but largely they involved different people--some I barely knew--and yet it made me sick to see the lack of concern we have for one another. It is one of the ugliest things I have ever beheld in people. And I wish I could unsee it.
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